Er…progress

You know like, when you want to go somewhere, and you get into your car, adjust your seat, check your mirrors, you get your seatbelt on…you’re ready to go. But when you put your foot on the gas, you don’t go anywhere? You know you’re missing something. There’s something else that has to be done before you can go. Then you realize you forgot something stupid like, you didn’t put the car in gear, or you still have the emergency brake on.

That’s a bit how I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve been in Tacoma now for about 10 months and although I’ve been making progress preparing for the teaching program (got my reading and writing tests out of the way, fingerprints done, CPR/First Aid class signed up for, math and biology tests on the way, and one of my three letters of recommendation turned in), I still feel like I’m not getting anywhere. Like there’s something right under my nose that I’m not seeing.

In this case, I would mean I’m missing opportunities during my time here in Tacoma. Although, just being here in Tacoma has given me opportunities in pursuing the teaching program. Like I said in some earlier post, I’m near the only two schools in the state that give a conditional loan scholarship towards my tuition. And if there are other opportunities I could go after, then…well, it just seems like that could always happen and if I kept chasing opportunities, I’ll never finish what I started.

And, as it turns out, there was one such opportunity. A position finally opened up in the international field at a nearby community college. It was a part-time clerical job, but it would have been a foot in the door for the field I wanted to be in…10 months ago. But I am so far along in getting into the teaching program, that unless this part-time job could really lead to something permanent and career-like, I couldn’t see a good reason to change course, even though it would mean getting a job now.

I guess this is another hard lesson in timing. Had this job been open seven months ago, or like, even back in the Fall, I’d have been much more excited about it and would have pursued it actively. Because at that time, I still wanted to be in that field. And I'd have had more time to stay in this place that I’m house-sitting.

Now that my mind has been set on teaching (even if the process is getting tedious), it’s difficult to suddenly want to change back. So, I guess that means I don’t want to change back, even though it would give me instant gratification of having a job that could lead to something permanent, instead of waiting another year before I become a teacher.

I don’t know. I still see more promise and value in becoming a biology teacher, even if I’m afraid I’ll look like a fool in front of a firing squad of twenty-some-odd students. But I guess that will push me to become better at what I do, like teaching English made me better at grammar. And that ensures my job won’t get tiring…Well, it will get tiring, but, I mean, it won’t get boring.

Ugh. There’s something else I forgot to mention. I’d been arranging to take the prerequisite tests (Basic skills tests - reading writing math, biology test, and GRE) in the order of importance. Like, I can get my teaching certificate with the basic skills test and the biology test. The GRE is gravy so I can get a Masters in Teaching. So, I was saving the GRE for last. Well, unfortunately, The GRE is only offered twice a year and I’ve missed them both. That’s a big set-back because that’s a difference in $10,000/year not having the Masters.

Well, I don’t want to dwell on this. It’s not simply about the money that made me want to pursue teaching. It was the opportunities. I just hope these opportunities will still be important to me by the time I get to the finish line. I think they will.