Is there a way to get what you want without being selfish?

I don’t feel like I've always done things for myself. I've just done the things I've wanted because I was in the position to be able to do so. At least I think so. I know I said the opposite before, that I deliberately kept myself in the position of being able to do what I wanted. But I don’t know anymore. It seems like circular reasoning.

I’ve always marveled at people who were in relationships when they said that they couldn’t pursue certain aspirations out of consideration for their significant other. I marveled because that’s never been a way I’ve had to think.

“Had to”?

I considered that it would be nice to live for someone other than myself. This was 6-7 years ago that I thought about this.

So now I wonder, am I single because I’m selfish or am I selfish because I’m single?

I’m not even sure if I really am selfish, but I feel like it sometimes.

But, you know, even those people in relationships I marveled at had their limits. They couldn’t always put their significant others before themselves (and yet, we’re so harsh when people have the audacity to think about themselves at times).

And I think that some people who always put others before themselves could stand to be a little more selfish to balance things out.

Can I turn this around on myself? Could I be selfless to balance myself out? It’s just, I feel like I have been and it hasn’t panned out.