Late night epiphany

As I was going to bed (trying to sleep) this came to me, clear as day, but now I’ve forgotten most of it. I knew I should have written it right then and there, but it was like, one in the morning. I thought considering how profound it was I couldn’t possibly forget it. Well, I kinda did. So now, I’ll just have to write fragments of it.

It was slightly influenced by I ♥ Huckabees as well as my post, The life we choose? It mainly had to do with the “two sides of the fence” predicament and the impossibility of having things both ways. So, I’ll just write these fragments and see how this turns out.

If we are realists, we are jaded. If we are idealists, we are delusional.

If we believe that we can choose what life we have, we are delusional and we’ll be frustrated when things we can’t control get in our way. But if we believe we can’t control our lives, it affects the decisions we would otherwise make if we did believe we had control, and changes what we could achieve…in spite of being more realistic.

Atheism is realistic, religion is idealistic.

But if atheists don’t have some optimistic (or idealistic) way of thinking (like secular humanism), then they will be stuck in realism and, consequently, jaded or perhaps become nihilists.

If religious people keep their beliefs but negate they way things really are, then they are stuck in delusion.

In the realm of religion, if Christians think theirs is the only correct religion, then they negate the fact that Christianity has no relevance in other cultures or that other religions existed before Christianity. If, in acknowledgement to this, Christians believe that all religions are correct as relevant to respective cultures, then they can’t really believe that Christianity is correct. And from this, there are two ways to go: keep believing in Christianity in spite of what they’ve realized, or become an atheist (or at least an agnostic or perhaps nihilist).

Well, that kind of stays a bit from the epiphany. What I felt I’d realized was the notion that indeed all religions (or even secular ways of thinking) do lead to one creator. But we can’t believe that all religions lead to the same creator in the same way we can’t believe that we control our lives while simultaneously believing that we can’t. In the same way we can’t be realistic while simultaneously being idealistic.

I have lived a life of delusion. And for a long time I’ve been looking for balance, a happy medium. But there is none. Just oscillation from one extreme to the other. The “happy” medium is apathy and indifference.

So while I’ve come to realism and have seen my inability to control my life, I don’t like the view that comes with it.

So, in spite of my realizations, I’ll maintain the attitude that I do have control of my life in order to benefit from the decisions and achievements in believing such.

In this, I acknowledge my hypocrisy. But if we’re to have things both ways, we have to be hypocrites. Because no one can take everything that comes with one side.